CHEWV

Byline: Lorrie Young

  • Choosing Thankfulness

    Choosing Thankfulness

    For most newlyweds, there is a honeymoon period when our spouse is our hero and even the quirky things they do are considered cute. This was no different for me; in fact, I would say that our honeymoon phase spanned nearly a decade before a spirit of subtle grumblings began to surface in my heart.

    I would say that our honeymoon phase spanned nearly a decade before a spirit of subtle grumblings began to surface in my heart.

    I still remember where I was – in the basement transferring laundry from the washer to the dryer and complaining in my quietest voice in the darkest places of my home and head. I am tired of being the only one in this house who sees what needs to be done and does it!

    The gentle grumbling seemed justifiable to me because I wasn’t complaining to anyone and not even out loud, yet all at once the Lord brought a memory to mind.

    I was a guest in an older woman’s home. She was leading a casual women’s event on gratitude and a dozen or so college-aged women were sitting around on the couches and floor of her living room. She shared a story from her own marriage. She said she had been married for only a few years when she began having frequent “woe is me” moments about all the chores she had to do around the house, seemingly by herself. She called her mother to complain and was shocked by her reply. Her mother, a godly woman with some 50 years of married experience, told her to get in the habit of thanking God for her husband as she emptied the dishwasher each morning. With each dish she pulled out of the dishwasher, she verbally thanked God for her husband’s acts of love and service, as well as his physical characteristics, parts of his personality, giftings, and talents. With each dish stacked and utensil placed in the drawer, day after day, she began to see bitterness dispel, anger recede, and love for her husband flood back into her heart.

    I’m so thankful the Lord brought the story to mind to help me see the great value of a heart that daily chooses gratitude, and the potential damage of a heart that chooses the opposite.

    At the time, as I tossed shirts, jeans and flannels into the dryer and named the things I loved about my husband and the things I appreciated, I, too, could feel the hardness of my heart soften. But I’ll be honest – I simply saw it as a good habit. You know, having an attitude of gratitude, a happy heart or seeing the world from a cup half full point of view.

    It was much later in life that I discovered that pursuing gratitude, not just in marriage, but in all circumstances was a way to discover more about the presence of God in my own life.

    …give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

    As I give thanks to God for the big and small blessings, I am recognizing him as Creator of all and Giver of every good gift.

    As I give thanks in all circumstances, I am reminded by great women like Elisabeth Elliot that the Scripture doesn’t command me to give thanks for all circumstances. I may not be thankful for tough times, suffering, or struggles, but I can be thankful to the God who promises to walk with me and provide wisdom, comfort and eternal hope in all circumstances!

    As I give thanks in hardships and trials, I am turning over my inability to control my life to a God who promises to work all things for my good.

    As I give thanks in my anxieties about the unknowns of the future, I am willingly choosing to trust in a God who both knows and sees the plans he has for me and my loved ones.

    As I give thanks in inconveniences, blocked roads, delays and seasons of waiting, I am believing in his perfect timing and reasons unbeknownst to me.

    As I give thanks in needy times, I am allowing space for the Lord to provide as he promises.

    As I give thanks in questioning and doubtful times, I am allowing room for God’s sovereignty and mystery in my life.

    Choosing gratitude helps me turn my eyes away from me, my life, my relationships, my annoyances, my inconveniences, my setbacks, my trials, and my disappointments, and instead sets my eyes on Him.

    Being grateful is choosing to place God’s cloak of love, trust, protection, faithfulness, goodness, sovereignty and eternal promises over top of my quivering, weak, scared, anxious, fearful, doubting, and hurting humanity. A grateful heart doesn’t have to understand everything, but simply chooses to obey and trust in the One who does understand all things.

    Here are a few ways I nurture my connection with God through gratitude:

    1. Each night before I nod off to sleep, I grab the gratitude journal beside my bed and jot down something big or small I am grateful for from the day.
    2. When doing mundane tasks (folding laundry, emptying the dishwasher or watering flowers), I use the many towels, dishes, or flowers to list things I am grateful for as I complete the tasks.
    3. While I admit it’s easier to thank God for the blessings in my life, I choose to use the word BUT when I am tempted to complain. For instance, “I am so annoyed that the traffic is jammed up on the interstate and I am going to miss my lunch with Susan. BUT you never know. Maybe God is protecting me from an accident or possibly a conversation that wouldn’t be good for me or Susan right now.” By acknowledging my habit of complaining, I am then giving myself an opportunity with my BUT statement to point myself and others to God’s power and presence in my life.
    4. Reading and reflecting on gratitude verses from the Bible renews my mind and focuses my eyes back on Christ.
    5. Using helpful and fun activities like these helps to spur my children on in these daily habits of gratitude!

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  (Philippians 4:6)

    I will give thanks to you Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of your wonderful deeds. (Psalm 9:1)

    Reflection Questions to discuss with your kids:

    • Have you ever experienced a season in your life where it was easier to complain than to be grateful? If so, recount that season.
    • How does choosing gratitude bring you closer with God?
    • What are your current gratitude practices? If gratitude isn’t a current practice, how can you take a small step to incorporate it into your life this month?
    • How does knowing that God isn’t asking you to thank him for the tough circumstances, but rather in the tough circumstances change how you look at scriptures like 1 Thessalonians 5:8?
    • What is one new habit you can pick up to incorporate a more thankful heart this month?

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    Lorrie Young, who enjoys writing in her spare moments, actively serves as the director of THESIS, a homeschool co-op in Marion County. She graduated her first homeschooler last spring and continues the homeschool journey with her two busy teens and faithful furry friend, Charlie, who promises to never leave home! She is grateful for each moment with them, past and present. 

  • They Grow So Quickly!

    They Grow So Quickly!

    by Lorrie Young

    It happened the other day. I was enjoying a nice sunny day, sitting on the porch as the kids played around me. My baby girl came over with a flower she had picked for me. As she ran by, my mind seemed to play the scene in slow motion. As the warm breeze rolled through her hair, her sun-kissed skin made her look older somehow, and her giggles seemed even more precious. As she turned to wave, letting me know she’d be back soon, it hit me: I suddenly realized my baby wasn’t a baby anymore.

    My kids are growing up in a flash, and I’ll soon have three school-aged children! No more infants, toddlers or preschoolers. Gone are the sippy cups, highchairs and training wheels. No longer will anyone ask me to open a door, fasten a seatbelt, or read just one more book…

    With stacks of scrapbooks about me and photos lining my walls, I admit to being sentimental. Inevitably, change is difficult for me. After nearly a decade of diapers, this new phase of life causes my heart to ache a bit. Yet I understand the danger of spending too much time walking down memory lane.

    The other day as I was reading my Bible, I took note of Ezra 3:7-13. The Israelites had been taken over and held captive by the Babylonians for years. The Babylonians had destroyed their precious city of Jerusalem and torn down the glorious temple that Solomon had built for the Lord.  After years of captivity and different reigns of different kingdoms, a whole generation of Israelites knew nothing about their hometown or Solomon’s temple.

    Enter Ezra who feels called to take a group of his people back to Jerusalem and rebuild the temple. With money collected from the group, they finally complete the foundation, and are so very excited. Imagine the scene of young folks dancing, rejoicing and singing about the goodness of God, and the joy of rebuilding the temple. Yet Scripture reads that in the midst of this rejoicing, a group of older guys were grieving, mourning and weeping!  The weeping was so loud that no one could distinguish between the sounds of joy and weeping! Can you imagine?

    It seems strange to me that in the midst of God doing something so exciting, some would be grieving and crying!  With everyone looking at the same situation and circumstances, there were two totally different responses. The difference was that the younger guys were excited to see God working and moving in the present, while the older guys were comparing the present to what was, used to be, and would never be again.  And, of course, their response was sadness.

    I share all this to remind us as mothers not to be like the older guys in the story. It’s good to take a few moments to relish the sweet memories of seasons gone by, but it’s not good to get lost there. Rather, God is doing new and exciting things with our children in each season of their lives.  As they grow and change, we must adjust our perspectives so that we can rejoice in the exciting “present.”  There’s a past to cherish, but there’s a present to embrace.  And God is in the midst of it all!

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    Lorrie Young, who enjoys writing in her spare moments, actively serves as the director of THESIS, a homeschool co-op in Marion County. She is a homeschool mom of three teenagers and is graduating her oldest this spring. Lorrie wrote this article several years ago.  Her children haven’t stopped changing since!