Category: Considering Homeschooling

  • Special Needs:  Lisa’s Story

    Special Needs: Lisa’s Story

    As told to CHEWV.

    We homeschooled our first two children in Maryland and things were going along well.  But about the time that our second child was entering kindergarten, we became concerned that something wasn’t quite right with our toddler.  At 2 1/2, he wasn’t talking, only grunting and pointing.  He acted like he couldn’t hear us, so we suspected a hearing issue; but there were other oddities as well.  Although we didn’t know what was happening, we were pretty sure he wasn’t developing like the other two had.

    A trip to the pediatrician was not helpful.  In fact, we saw several doctors who all told us that nothing was wrong; he was just a late talker. Our gut feeling, however, was that something was wrong.  We prevailed in getting his hearing tested, but because of some behavioral issues, we ended up having to go to Johns Hopkins for the hearing test.  The results came back perfectly normal, and again, we were told that he was just a late talker and not to worry.

    I believe it was providential that I heard of Thomas Sowell’s book, Late Talking Children.  I bought and simply devoured it!  It became clear that this book was not describing our son. Late talking children can still follow instructions, but our Josh didn’t even seem to comprehend what we were saying.  About this time we had to move to West Virginia for my husband’s job. Although we didn’t get any better answers from the pediatricians here, my insistence yielded a referral for speech therapy.  It was the speech therapist who first realized that yes, there was a problem.  By this time, that was not surprising to me.

    The speech therapist referred us to the Klingberg Center in Morgantown where they do multi-disciplinary child development assessments.   The specialists at the Klingberg Center diagnosed  Josh with autism – with one of the highest scores they had yet seen.

    An immediate referral was made to the Birth to Three Program.  Since Josh was nearly three already, those services did not last long.  After Josh turned three, strong pressure began to put him in public school for services. But we did not want to send our children to public school!  I was tired and upset, and neither of our parents was supportive.   One denied the diagnosis entirely and the other told me to put the older children in school so we could attend to the child who needed us more.  While it  had been a long journey just to find out what was wrong,  we soon realized that we had more obstacles ahead.  How were we to get Josh proper treatment when I didn’t have a college degree or any training with special needs?  I felt totally inadequate, yet my husband offered this loving counsel: 

    Rob’s first question, “Does God make mistakes?”

    I sheepishly gave the obvious answer, “No.”

    He continued, “Is there anything wrong with Joshua?”

    I answered more quickly, “No!  Joshua is perfect just the way God made him and God has a purpose for him!”

    Rob:  “Who gave you the desire to homeschool?”

    Me:  “God did.”

    Rob: 

    “How do you know that God didn’t give you the desire to homeschool our children to prepare you for the work you would need to do with Josh?”

    These were words of wisdom that I needed to hear!  And so He did.  None of this was a surprise to God, and He had it well in hand – although we didn’t know how yet.

    The doctor at the Klingberg Center was hesitant about homeschooling,  but he was willing to assist and see how it went.  At the time there was a special needs home program through Rutgers University, but the expense was astronomical. I was able to go visit the families involved in that program, and I began reading their recommended material.  I stopped homeschooling the older two for two months while I immersed myself in my own education.  Josh had been diagnosed in November.  By January I had designed my own intervention home program for him. 

    A doctorate student agreed to advise me.  She was learning about autism at the same time I was – which was a blessing for us.  As she studied in WVU’s doctoral program, she was willing to share her growing knowledge with me and use our family as a “put it into practice” opportunity.  Josh’s therapy program was 25 hours of one-on-one work every week.  We hired college students, trained them in the program, and then had them “teach” Josh 10 hours per week – which was the most we could afford.  I performed  the remaining 15 hours.  The doctorate student (who would later become a practitioner in the Klingberg Center) advised us as I kept detailed records of what was being done and how Josh responded.

    It was intense and constant for well over a year.  But when Josh was about 4 1/2, the original doctor from Klingberg told us that we should keep doing whatever we were doing because Josh was considered “recovered!”  This was music to my ears from the doctor who had been reticent about a home program and fairly insistent that only public school professionals could treat Josh!  A clear diagnosis requires a 25% receptive and expressive language deficit, a 25% social deficit, and certain other associated behaviors.  Josh’s percentage was now well below that on each scale!  This was huge since Josh had had one of the highest autistic scores ever given at the Klingberg Center when he was diagnosed!  And even though persons with autism are never fully healed, we were ready to go into a regular kindergarten homeschool program with only accommodations.  I continued to give Josh special attention —  his homeschooling  was never as easy as “regular homeschooling.”

    Was it hard on the older children?  Yes. It was difficult for all of us.  My older son particularly had a hard time when attention was diverted from him. But the older two both became a part of Josh’s therapy out of pure necessity.   If I was schooling one, the other had to interact with Josh.  This proved to be a positive experience for them.  Although my oldest was able to read a book to understand Josh’s needs better, they both had to learn that Josh loved them despite the fact that he wouldn’t hug, touch, or communicate with them.  It took years to adjust,  but it’s been a wonderful learning experience for all of us.  My older children are much more patient and compassionate than they would have been had our family life been easier.

    Six years after Josh was born, we welcomed a new baby girl into our family.  It was with mixed feelings that I started noticing similar problems with her. By the time we knew she had Asperger’s,  I had already learned that God would providentially provide just what we needed! 

    So what advice would I give parents of special needs children?  Trust your instincts!  When you feel something isn’t quite right, be persistent.  The more important thing, though, is to trust God. We didn’t want to move to WV at first, but looking back, I see that this is where God provided the resources we needed.  God knew!  And He never makes mistakes.  Never.

    Side note from Lisa:

    While many in homeschooling circles wish to avoid labeling special needs children, it is still extremely important to have them evaluated by professionals to find out where their difficulties lie. As parents, we need to know how to help them learn efficiently. 

    This needn’t single out one child if we’re cautious. For instance, as long as we can address their issues, it’s not necessary to call our children autistic, learning impaired, etc…  Their therapy can be called “school.”  Our annual assessment can be the same for all our children so as not to single out our special child.  But having the diagnosis still paves the way for understanding and helping our children to learn. 

    For our family, we called Joshua’s therapy “school.”  We never referred to it as therapy.  We also tested all of our children with standardized tests, albeit we arranged one on one testing for Joshua. But since we needed to turn in a portfolio review for Joshua, we did portfolio reviews for the other children also.  As much as we could, we treated our children equally. Nevertheless, getting Josh diagnosed was essential for his educational success!

  • Mom, Do You Know Their Unique Style?

    Mom, Do You Know Their Unique Style?

    “The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increases learning.”  Proverbs 16:21

    As we get into the routine of schoolwork with our children, whether for the first time or after a summer break, we may want to keep in mind that children do not learn instantly. Many times in our homeschooling efforts a child just doesn’t “get it” the first few times, so we patiently try again. And again. And again. Sometimes we begin to think we must be a bad teacher, or the wrong teacher, or that our child must not be paying attention; after all, we’ve explained it ten times using various tones of voice. We may even conclude that one of us is intellectually challenged. However, we needn’t despair; the problem may be a conflict of learning styles.

    We all have preferred methods of receiving, even perceiving, new information.
Some of us, the watchers, are visual learners; we like to see the words, photos, illustrations, colors, diagrams, and graphs on a page before the information will cement itself in our minds. We may not even hear directions if we’re busy watching!

    Some of us, the talkers, are auditory learners; we prefer to listen to a voice speaking or singing new information before it becomes ours. We may not even see others doing something because we’re so busy hearing!

    Still others of us, the doers, are kinesthetic learners; we would rather go through the motions. In other words, we actually have to do something new before we know it well enough to repeat it. We may be completely clueless to new ideas unless they have some action to them!

    To add depth to the learning style issue, most of us use not just one distinct learning style, but a combination, with one style being dominant at certain times or ages. For example, all babies and very young children learn by a hands-on approach—touching, mouthing, crawling, climbing, emptying tissue boxes, cabinets, and drawers; whereas toddlers and preschoolers learn easier and faster if we use a multi-sensory method that involves the student seeing, speaking, hearing and doing over and over again. (Think of all the little hand-rhymes preschoolers love.) By sometime near first grade, visual skills are gaining ground; and by 5th or 6th grade, auditory skills are getting stronger. As children grow older and gain experience and maturity, some begin to prefer another learning style, while others retain the kinesthetic approach.

    If we know our child’s learning preference, we can teach them more productively, but we can also teach them how to learn best. In other words, if they know their preferred mode of learning, then when they are older and have more difficult classes, they can turn that knowledge to their advantage by using those methods that increase their learning capacity. For instance, electronic devices make recording easy for those with auditory preference. Or if they are assigned a teacher with a style counter to their favorite learning mode, they have a better chance of compensating.

    So, how do we discover our children’s preferred style?

    Your child may be kinesthetic if he

    • remembers what was done rather that what was told, read, or talked about
    • seems to learn everything by experience, trial, and error
    • tries things out and always seems to be touching things, even if they’re off limits
    • needs lots of physical contact with parents, children, and teachers, and if he does
n’t get the positive hugs, pats & so on, will nudge, push & pinch
    • 
is so active that shoelaces become untied and shirttails pulled out seconds after being neatly dressed for the day

    Kinesthetic learners, the “doers”, certainly require the most creativity on our part. These students are the ones in perpetual motion while we’re teaching them. They have us convinced they haven’t heard one thing because they seem like they’re ignoring us in their quest for movement. Workbooks have little value to this child unless we allow them the liberty of movement; bouncing slightly while sitting on a giant ball, or tapping their pencil to the rhythm of their kicking feet. They will easily forget multiplication tables – except if they learn them while jumping rope or on a mini trampoline. If we want to read aloud to this child we must permit LEGO construction, battlefield play with military men, or zooming vehicles; and for the older ones, maybe scissor work, constructing a model, coloring a book of detailed illustrations, or maybe even riding a stationary bike. These kids enjoy performing every science experiment in the book – and then devise more of their own! For spelling, air writing may work, or writing on a very large sheet of paper, or on a black or white board. In math, pint & quart jars can be used to measure water and a tape-measure to measure walls. A string or clothesline can be hung with clipped-on numbers to demonstrate order. Card games and board games are very helpful. Globes and large wall map activities for geography; Play-doh for making letters, magnetic letters, puzzles, and sign language are all helpful for the kinesthetic child.

    Keep in mind though: extra encouragement and training in the areas of sitting quietly, perseverance and self-control may be needed for the kinesthetic child. And again, nearly every child under 5ish years old is highly kinesthetic. Many grow out of it, some don’t.

    Your child may be auditory if she

    • is able to follow directions after listening to you once, and rarely needs things repeated
    • likes listening to music, radio, singing, and read aloud books
    • remembers a telephone number, zip code, or name by repeating it a few times
    • can maintain her focus just by listening in a class lecture or presentation, without having to be actively involved
    • solves problems by talking

    Auditory learners require talking — lots of talking! They need to hear us talking, they need to hear themselves talking, and computer programs need to talk, too. Auditory kids enjoy read alouds. These students like educational songs, audio books, and movies with lots of dialog. They will memorize songs, rhymes, and movie lines effortlessly – use this to (their) advantage! These learners are easy to teach with a bit more time planned for discussion. If we want this student to complete a workbook or read a science text silently, be prepared for a puzzled expression or a look of confusion, as the information just won’t compute without a little whispering.  To help boost their visual skills, play card games, board games, ‘I Spy’, or describe objects from a ‘memory tray’.

    Keep in mind though: extra training to notice details and not interrupt may be needed for the auditory child. Again, nearly every child 5ish-7ish is highly auditory, especially girls. Some grow out of it; some don’t.

    Your child may be visual if he

    • uses picture clues to give meaning when reading a book
    • will do chores better when given a list of things to do on paper
    • remembers faces & forgets names
    • notices details such as a new picture or object in the room, like mom’s new haircut or another change before anyone else
    • learns fastest and understands best if you show him and then allow him to see how things are put together or how they work
    • 
watches others when in a social group instead of jumping into action

    Visual learners enjoy books, videos, workbooks, computer programs – anything having information which can be seen. These students are usually the easiest to teach since little effort is required on our part for them to soak up new concepts presented visually. They can easily be distracted if we try to teach them primarily by auditory methods; therefore, if we want this student to listen to new information by lecture, sermon, or audio recording, we must limit unrelated noise and allow note taking or drawing to facilitate learning. These are usually the students who demand silence while listening/learning. Illustrated timelines, colored sticky notes, and highlighting are all good strategies to use for a visual kid. Large maps to be labeled or stickered are helpful. A ‘story board’ before writing assignments will benefit many. (Story board: fold paper into fourths; draw beginning picture, two middle pictures, and one ending picture to help student visualize.) For assignments or chores; a written list of instructions will probably ensure much quicker results than oral directions.

    Keep in mind though: the visual child may need extra encouragement and training in the areas of listening attentively, holding eye contact during conversation, and social skills. These are the kids who may need TV time severely restricted because they will constantly watch it, if allowed.

    Outside the Preferred Mode

    Don’t be hesitant to try something new; something that seems to go against a child’s preferred mode of learning as, again, their learning mode may change over time. A professor of psychiatry, Dr Larry Silver, (Georgetown U of Medicine) said:

    “Matur[ity] spurts occur once or twice a year. It’s as if a new computer chip enters in.
    And when that chip starts firing,there may be changes in the way a child learns.”

    We may think we can’t possibly add one more item to our “to do” list and that incorporating a multi-sensory approach into our teaching won’t make that much difference anyway. If so, consider Thomas Edison, who was declared by his schoolmaster to be “addled” (confused), and Albert Einstein, who was called mentally slow and then expelled from school.* Could it be that their teachers did not appeal to their learning style? It can be very easy to underestimate a student’s intelligence when the teaching mode does not fit the student.

    With multi-sensory teaching, and sweet words from our lips, we can make learning more enjoyable and effective.

    “The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning.” Proverbs 16:21

    Note: This may be an overly simplistic explanation, since personality also plays an important part in our learning styles. The three main learning modes– kinesthetic, auditory and visual– can occur in any personality type which results in many interesting combinations. For a more detailed account of learning styles see “The Way They Learn” by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias.

    *Thomas Edison; World Book Encyclopedia: Albert Einstein; The Ultimate Geography and Timeline Guide by Maggie Hogan & Cindy Wiggers page 9.

  • Could I Be a Homeschool Mom?

    Could I Be a Homeschool Mom?

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    Considering homeschooling? Get ready for a wild ride!
     
    I remember attending public school as a kid. Honestly, I was bored silly. We all had to do the same things. We all ate lunch at the same time, hungry or not. We all flopped down on our mats, closed our eyes tightly, and tried to nap, sleepy or not. We all dabbed white glue on our popcorn and stuck it to our “sheep art thing” we all did. We all learned from the same lesson plans. We were all presented with the same material, and subsequently, we all asked the same basic questions. Then, year after year, we all moved on to the next “level.”
     
    When I would arrive home at night, I pretty much kept to myself. I was loaded up with enough homework to keep me occupied for hours, and my parents and siblings were not high on my “to do” list. They were not my top priority; school had to be. Plenty of times I was so exhausted at the end of the day–yet not finished with all of my assignments–I would let myself just doze until 4 or 5 A.M., and then drag myself out of bed to finish everything before trotting off to school to repeat the cycle. I felt like a sheep. Baaa-aaaah; better hurry, the bell’s about to ring . . . again.
     
    That is not the school life I want to give my own children. I don’t want to have them gone all day only for them to come home and keep their distance from us. Why have kids? So we decided to homeschool. Then they turned five. Now what? I was not trained to be a homeschool mama. Who is? But hey, it’s fun. I like having my kids with me, and they are learning! However, I must say, it’s all the questions that drive me batty.
     
    A question here, a comment there–this is fine; don’t get me wrong. But imagine the never-ending question. The answer that just won’t satisfy. The conversation that has no finale. One of my sons in particular has questions for me that he fires from a vocal cannon, which once loaded, can discharge for hours. When they begin to flow, my eyeballs start twitching. My hands sweat and my hair rises. Hide me. This boy (we have three) has asked us the oddest things (and I paraphrase, below) since the day he could talk. He somehow learned to chatter early, and quite well–definitely before I was ready.
     
    Once, he spotted a spider in the upper left corner of our hallway and set out to explain to any soul who would listen, in his 2-year-old voice (and logic), that the spider was crying. How he came to that conclusion, I’ll never know. The spider wasn’t making a sound! Every time he saw any little eight-legger from that point on, he jumped up and down and exclaimed, “Pider cwying. Pider cwyyyying!” Our homeschooling adventure with him had begun!
     
    I should have known that the wacky questions from my little fireball of energy would follow. Many of you, with your own kiddos, can relate, I’m sure. My son has an imagination that will not stop:
     
    Age 2:
     
    “Mommy, do chickens eat cookies?”
    “Ummm . . . no. I don’t believe they do.”
    “Why not?”
    “Well, they were not made to eat cookies. The opportunity doesn’t often present itself, I guess.”
    “Yes, but do chickens have lips?”
    “Oh, for heaven’s sake. No, they have a beak. Hey, look, we’re almost at the park. Do you have your water bottle?”
    “I want to be a race car when I grow up. Can I?”
    “You can drive a race car, perhaps, but no, really you can’t become one. You are a human being.”
    “But I want to be a race car.”
    “Son, you’re 2 years old. Give your career goals some TIME. Oh, look! There’s the park.”
     
    Conversations with a 9-year-old can be just as offbeat. Like the time this same funny boy came to me extremely concerned that our dog, Liesel, possibly thought that he was just a fellow canine:
     
    He said, “But Mom, how do you know that she knows I’m a person? Maybe she thinks I am another dog. I don’t want her to think I’m like the other dogs around here. I’m really human. Do you think she knows?”
    “Yes, Son, she knows.”
    “But how do you know that she knows? She can’t see herself, so she may not know what she is, or what I am.”
    “Trust me. She knows that she’s a dog and you are a boy. A human boy.”
    “But how do you know that?”
    “I just do. She is quite aware that you are NOT a dog like her.”
    “How can you be sure?”
    “Go clean your room.”
     
    Years later . . .
     
    “Can my hen climb down a tree?”
    “No, that would be impossible.”
    “I put her up there and she’s cackling.”
    “What on earth . . . how high?”
    “Really high.”
    “Which tree?”
    “You know . . . that pine tree out front. And the rooster is at the bottom all nervous.”
    “Well, I’d be, too, if my spouse were trapped in a tree! Go get her down!”
     
    Now that he is older, the questions aren’t so unbaked. Instead, they’re really intense. Lately I hear myself saying, “Go ask Dad. That’s a ‘dad’ question.” I don’t remember being this inquisitive in school. Nor do I recall my friends with imaginations like his. And it’s not just my family. This “ever-curiousness” seems to be somewhat the norm in homeschool families. The kids are hanging out with their parents, so they ask grown-up questions earlier. They are afforded individual attention, so their time is better spent learning. They get enough sleep, avoid threats from bullies (usually, anyway), and can relax. They have the freedom to learn without worry of peers, worry of teachers, and worry of what’s to come.
     
    A homeschool house does not have a “sheep mentality.” It’s a living, breathing “think tank” that will challenge you in more ways than you can imagine. And across the board, homeschooled students carry on very well; you know this. And while I was not trained to be a homeschool mama, my kids are being trained to be homeschool mamas and papas. They’ll do it even better than we are!
     
    Keep up the good work, and when you are at times tempted to rip out your hair, or if you are afraid of the upcoming “school years,” remember that your little talker will someday be a brainy adult . . . an independent thinker who will make a positive societal impact. To be sure, you are giving him an opportunity that is unmatched. 

    Copyright, 2009. All rights reserved by author below. Content provided by The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC.

    Gena Suarez and her husband Paul are the owners/publishers of The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC. Gena enjoys strong coffee, good books and spending long periods of time in the van with her family. Paul and Gena have five children, ages one and a half to 19, and they hope to have a few more if the Lord allows. Come find her at Facebook, or become a “fan” of TOS Magazine’s Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Gray­TN/The­Old­Schoolhouse­ Magazine/42107471203. To reach Gena, publisher@thehomeschoolmagazine.com.

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